I am a mommy of 4 daughters + 1 step-daughter. I have experienced the many joys and woes of mother-hood. I had my children pretty early, and pretty close together. I was indeed one of the best of mommies, and I can say that because I have been promoted to NANA. My oldest daughter just turned 26 this year. She had very determined outlooks as to "when" she would start her family. She made it sort of a life goal, and she in turn made it to her goal. You see I was only 15 when I was first pregnant, delivering at 16, and still in school. It was rough, I had to catch a big yellow school bus way across town, about a 30 minute ride. I was in the co-op program, so I got out of school at about 11am, went to work at Mickey D's for the number of hours required. But because that was the only hours available to me from them, I then had to take on another job. When work ended, I walked out to the road to wait on a city bus to take me back across town to the Krystal. I then worked 8-10 hours. Many many nights I wasn't able to get off work in time, so I missed the last bus. I had to be off in time to not only catch that bus, but also ride it downtown, change over to another bus, and ride it out to my neighborhood, where after I got off at the stop I then walked about 3 or 4 blocks in the dark finally arriving home. Tired as ever, this was a daily routine for quite a while. I then cared for my baby daughter whenever she awoke. It didn't matter if I had only been asleep for fifteen minutes. I wanted to spend all the time in the world with her. And my living arrangements due to situations, I done what needed to be done.
I have probably told every story to my daughters a million + times. They always say "I know Ma, you told me that one already". You see I didn't sugar coat or glamorize anything about life, growing up, hard times, or mother-hood. Straight facts allowed my girls to make sound decisions in their life. Chrissy knew that it could at times get rough, very rough, and I'm sure she remembers her own moments that were hard to get through. The main thing is, that once you have decided to bring another human being into this world, it does not stop at "when they get grown". It is a life-time commitment. You should analyze your current life and/or life-style, and what it will become, and what it will be no longer.
Children are a total gift of GOD, I have always said that. It means, Hey, you did something right, he's rewarding you. I enjoyed every moment of my children's small moments from day one, and well I still am. Sometimes you have to remind yourself "JUST BREATHE". But it's worth it.
image: Smashing Magazine
Chrissy was dead set on that she wanted to wait, not only until after high school, but be certain she was in her 20's and had a good job. And that she did, with a smile. She was 21 when Deja came along, and she also spaced out the children. And by that I mean, you know how some women you meet with large family, and you think, Geezzz you must have been pregnant every year your whole entire life. Well, I didn't do that, but anyways, Deja is now 5, and she just gave birth to her 2nd daughter Aaliyah in October. I remember when she told me "See Mama I told You, and I did, I was out of school and in my 20's."
My 2 girls in the middle aren't ready for families yet. One likes to date, and the other has a boyfriend of a long while and 2 cats. My grandkittens, LOL, Luna and Nova, they are so weet. I even take pictures of them like they are kids, and sometimes post them, haha.
Morgie, well I think she always knew she wanted a family. She longed for stability, because sometimes you may have to live with your grandma, or aunt until hard times is over. So, she met her guy, dated about 1 1/2 yrs. and the day after graduation, hoped a bus off to Ohio. She left this small town in the dust, as I told her, this could very well be your only opportuity. So think long and hard about your decision, whatever you choose I'm support you. They now have their own place, she finally got the rest of her stuff up there, they are engaged to be married this month (December 2013), and the best news the baby is due in May. :)
As for my step-daughter she is also engaged to her sir of long time. But she has informed us that they have decided to wait just a bit before rushing into the family life. Take all the time you need dear, no rush.
So I guess you can just say, maybe this is like a pre-welcome to your maybe decision blog post. Not everyone is told what actually goes on in life. Some lead sheltered lives. So if you happen to stumble across this, I hope it was of useful insights to you. And whether you just decided to concieve, you are currently pregnant, you decided to wait, or you are having your 17th child - - I wish you well and lots of luck and bundles of joy.
Now, you at least know it is not the fairytales that we were told growing up. They are lies, all lies I tell ya....Life is what you make out of it. Keep your chin up, and call your mama, because even if your 36, 17, or 52, she will never quit worrying about you.
I was going to go in a whole other direction with this post. It was still about babies, but hey I'm going to post this, because maybe you needed this. Babies are a joy, and there's nothing else like it. The love from an innocent child who depends solely on you for his/her whole existance. They will always love you for who you are, not what you have, or who you hang around. It's an unconditional love that's out of this world.
Peace & Love
J :))
